Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
