yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
