the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
