I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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