go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
