Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
