You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
