he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
