Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
