What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
