# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
