I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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