I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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