just come out here and I will go home with you...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
People in love make me want to vomit
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
