pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
