its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
