It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
