if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize