Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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