Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
