Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
