If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
