you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
