I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
