if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
