my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
