i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
