I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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