dude i'm inner monologue high
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
