so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
