1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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