so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
