I bet he comes in French.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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