why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
