sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize