is your mom at the bar?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
