Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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