if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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