I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
