hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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