think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Moan for me like Helen Keller
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
