My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
