Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
