I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
