my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
