$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
