i may or may not be watching the land before time
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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