Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
