hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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