I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
