I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize