just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
