I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
