Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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