you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My feet surprised me
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize