no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
