i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
