i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
