Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
