guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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