He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
