week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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