return my video game
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
