we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
