We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
